family

The Braying Drunkard

Al-‘Awām b. Ḥawshab (148H) – Allāh have mercy on him – said:

I once came to an area in one part of which was a graveyard. After ‘aṣr, one of the graves split open and a man with the head of a donkey and the body of a human came up from it and brayed three times, after which the grave closed back up on him. I then saw an old woman weaving fleece or wool, and a woman said, “Do you see that old woman?” I said, “What about her?” She replied, “That is the mother of this [dead] man.” I asked, “What was his story?” She replied, “He used to drink wine, and whenever he would go out his mother would say, ‘O my son, fear Allāh; until when will you keep drinking wine?’ He would reply, ‘You bray like a donkey.'” The woman said, “He then died after ‘aṣr, so every day after ‘asr the grave opens up and he brays a few times, then the grave closes up on him again.”

Al-Hāfidh Abul-Qāsim Al-Aṣbahānī, Al-Targhīb wa Al-Tarhīb article 471.

Shaykh Nāṣir Al-Dīn Al-Albānī graded this narration ḥasan in his edition of Al-Mundhirī’s Al-Targhīb wa Al-Tarhīb. See Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Targhīb wa Al-Tarhīb ḥadīth 2517.

Al-Mundhirī quotes Al-Aṣbahānī as saying:
This [story] was narrated by Abul-‘Abbās Al-Aṣam in a dictation at Naysābūr, in the presence of great preservers [of traditions] and people of knowledge, and they did not reject it.

The best thing after Iman and the worst thing after Kufr [women]

It is reported that ‘Umar b. Al-Khattāb – Allāh be pleased with him – once addressed the people and said:

No man can have anything better after faith (īmān) than a woman of righteous character, loving and child-bearing. And no man can have anything worse after unbelief (kufr) than a sharp-tongued woman of bad character.

Al-Ḥāfidh Abul-Qāsim Al-Aṣbahānī, Al-Targhīb wa Al-Tarhīb article 1528. Also recorded in other sources with a slight variation in wording.

10 Days to Marry

It is reported that ‘Abdullāh b. Masʿūd – Allāh be pleased with him – said:

If I had ten days left to live, and I knew I would die by the end of them, and I had enough time to get married, I would get married for fear of temptation (fitnah).

Sa’īd b. Mansūr, Al-Sunan article 493.

The Blessings of Marriage according to the Sunnah

Yaḥyā b. Yaḥyā Al-NaysābūrĪ reports:

I was once with Sufyān b. ‘Uyainah – Allah have mercy on him, when a man came to him and said, “O Abū Muḥammad, I complain to you of so-and-so”, meaning his wife, “I am the lowest and most despicable thing to her.” [Sufyān] lowered his head for a few moments, then said, “Perhaps you wanted her in order to better your status.” The man said, “Indeed, o Abū Muḥammad.” Sufyān said, “Whoever goes for glory will be tried with ignominy, whoever goes for wealth will be tried with poverty, but whoever goes for religiousness, Allah will bring together for him glory and wealth with the religion.” He then started to narrate to him:

We were four brothers: Muḥammad, ‘Umrān, IbrāhĪm and I. Muḥammad was the eldest, ‘Umrān was the youngest, and I was in the middle. When Muḥammad wanted to marry, he desired status and married a woman of higher standing, so Allah tried him with ignominy. ‘Umrān desired wealth, so he married a richer woman and Allah tried him with poverty: [her family] took everything from him and gave him nothing.

I pondered their situation. Mu’ammar b. Rāshid once came to us so I consulted him on the situation and told him the story of my brothers. He reminded me of the ḥadĪth of Yaḥyā b. Ja’dah and the ḥadĪth of ‘Ā`ishah. The ḥadĪth of Yaḥyā b. Ja’dah states that the Prophet – Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him – said, “A woman is married for four things: her religion, her status (lineage), her wealth or her beauty; so take the religious one and be successful.” The ḥadĪth of ‘Ā`ishah states that the Prophet – Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him – said, “The most blessed woman is she who is easiest to maintain.”

Thus, I chose [to marry a woman of] religion and modest dowry, in accordance with the Sunnah of Allah’s Messenger – Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, and Allah gave me status and wealth along with the religion.

Abū Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyā` 7:289, 290.

Note
The first ḥadĪth is recorded by Al-BukhārĪ and Muslim. The second is found in Al-Nasā`Ī and other collections but has been graded weak by scholars including Shaykh Al-AlbānĪ. However, scholars point out there is another narration that supports and adds to its meaning. This ḥadĪth states:
It is from the blessing in a woman that she has an easy dowry, an easy proposal [via her guardian] and an easy womb (i.e. she is fertile and bares children without difficulty). One of the reporters of this narration, ‘Urwah, said “And I say from myself, one of the first signs of evil from a woman is for her to have a high dowry.”
This ḥadĪth is recorded by Imām Aḥmad and others and is graded ḥasan by Shaykh Al-AlbānĪ.

Women and Food [Man Talk]

It is reported that Al-Aḥnaf b. Qays – Allāh have mercy on him – said:

Stay away from mentioning women and food in our gatherings, for I hate a man to constantly describe his private parts and his stomach. It is an aspect of higher conduct and religiousness that a man [sometimes] leaves eating food while he desires it.

Abū Bakr Al-Daynūrī, Al-Mujālasah wa Jawāhir Al-‘Ilm 3:44, 45.