marriage

The Status of Dutifulness to the Mother [Tawbah]

ʿAṭāʾ b. Yasār reports:

A man once came to Ibn ʿAbbās and said, “I proposed to a woman and she refused to marry me, then someone else proposed to her and she wanted to marry him; so I became jealous and killed her. Can I repent from this?” [Ibn ʿAbbās] asked, “Is your mother alive?” He replied, “No.” So he said, “Repent (tawbah) to Allāh the mighty and majestic, and worship him as much as you can.”

ʿAṭāʾ said, “So I went and asked Ibn ʿAbbās, ‘Why did you ask him if his mother was alive?’ He replied, ‘I do not know of any action that brings one closer to Allāh than dutifulness to the mother.'”

Al-Bukhārī, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad ḥadīth 4. Graded ṣaḥīḥ by Al-Albānī. See Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Chapter on Dutifulness to the Mother; Al-Ṣaḥīḥah 6:711 ḥadīth 2799.

Three Men and Three Women

It is reported that ʿUmar b. Al-Khaṭṭāb – Allāh be pleased with him – said:

There are three types of men and three types of women. As for the women, then [one] is the chaste, Muslim, gentle, loving and childbearing woman. She helps her family in difficult situations and does not help situations to overcome her family. Rarely will you find such women. Another is a vessel, she does nothing more than bear children. The third type is a shackle, Allāh puts her around the neck of whomever he wills, and when he wills to remove it, he removes it. Men are [also] three kinds. [The first is] a chaste, easy, gentle man who possesses opinion (insight) and is worthy of being consulted; and when a matter befalls him, he follows his insight, and approaches matters as they should be. [The second is] a man who has no opinions of his own, and when a matter befalls him he goes to the one who does have insight and should be consulted, and he adopts his opinion on the matter. The third is a man who is confused, lost and aimless; he neither follows (seeks) guidance, nor obeys any guide.

Al-Bayhaqī, Shuʿab Al-Īmān 10:39 ḥadīth 7131.

How Much Shaytan Tries to Cause Marital Strife

Abū ʾUmāmah – Allāh be pleased with him – said:

Verily Shayṭān comes to your bed after your wife has made it and prepared it and throws a stick, a stone, or something [similar] on it to make the husband angry with his wife. So if someone finds this, let him not be angry with his wife, for it is the work of Shayṭān.

Al-Bukhārī, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad #1191. The chain of transmission is graded ḥasan by Shaykh Al-Albānī; he also regards it as being authentic from the Prophet ﷺ . See Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1:463

Hafsah on Two Reasons to Marry

ʿAmr b. Dīnār reports that ʿAbdullāh b. ʿUmar – Allāh be pleased with them – intended not to marry after the [passing of the] Prophet – ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa salam, so Ḥafṣah (his sister) – Allāh be pleased with her – advised him:

My brother, marry, for if you have a child and it dies, it will precede you into Al-Jannah (and be a cause for you to be admitted), and if it lives, the child will supplicate for good for you.

ʿAbd Al-Razzāq Al-Ṣanʿānī, Al-Muṣannaf #10388

The Man Who Was Abducted by Jinn

ʿAbd Al-Raḥmān b. Abī Laylā reports:

A man from his people, from the Anṣār, went out one night to pray ʿIshāʾ with his people [during the Caliphate of ʿUmar], but some jinn abducted him, and he went missing. His wife went to ʿUmar and told him [of her missing husband]. ʿUmar asked his people about him, and they confirmed that he had gone out to pray ʿIshāʾ but had gone missing. [ʿUmar] told the woman to wait for four years.

When four years had passed, the woman went back to ʿUmar and informed him [of her case]. He asked her people and they confirmed the case. He told her she could now  marry, and she did. But her [first] husband returned and raised a dispute [over the marriage] to ʿUmar b. Al-Khaṭṭāb – Allāh be pleased with him. ʿUmar said, “One of you disappears for ages, his family does not know whether he is alive or not [and then he turns up, making claims]!” The man replied, “O Leader of the Believers, I have an excuse.” He asked, “And what is your excuse?” The man replied, “I went out to pray ʿIshāʾ one night, but some jinn captured me, and I [was held captive] by them for a long time. Then, some Muʾmin – or Muslim (one of the reporters, Saʿīd, was not sure of the exact word used) jinn waged an attack on them, fought them and beat them, and took captives. They took me amongst the captives, but said, ‘We see that you are a Muslim man, and it is not allowed for us to keep you captive.’ So they gave me the choice of staying with them or returning to my family. I chose to return to my family. They set off with me. By night, no one would say anything to me; but by day there would be a stick I would follow.”

ʿUmar – Allāh be pleased with him – asked the man, “What was your food when you were amongst them?” He replied, “Difficult [stolen?] food, and what had not had the name of Allāh mentioned over it.” ʿUmar asked, “And what did you drink when you were amongst them?” He replied, “Al-jadaf (a type of drink that does not ferment).”

ʿUmar ruled that the man had a choice to either get back the ṣadāq (dowry) he had given [and have his marriage stay nullified], or take back his wife.

Al-Bayhaqi, Al-Sunan Al-Kubrā 7:445,446. Al-Albānī graded its chain of transmission ṣaḥīḥ in Irwā Al-Ghalīl 4:151