Men on Menses

It is reported that Al-Mughîrah b. Shu’bah – Allâh be pleased with him – used to marry many women. He used to say, “A man who has one wife is ill when she is ill and has a period when she has hers, and a man with two wives is between two flaming fires.’ He used to marry four women at a time and divorce four at a time.

Al-Dhahabî, Siyar A’lâm Al-Nubalâ`, in his biography of Al-Mughîrah b. Shu’bah

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  7. 10 Days to Marry

March 3, 2009

Topics: family

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10 Responses to “Men on Menses”

  1. Ummu Sakeenah on March 12, 2009 21:09

    Jazaakumullaahu Khairan.
    Umm, I read this a few times, but I still can’t get it. What Mugheerah bin Shu’bah used to do – is it praiseworthy or…?
    I was wondering if there is a lesson in this.

  2. Abû ‘Abdillâh Owais Al-Hâshimi on March 13, 2009 18:10

    Insha Allâh this narration highlights one of the many benefits of polygyny, as indicated in the first part of the quote. This would be the main lesson from the narration.

    The last part which mentions this illustrious Companion’s marrying four women at a time…then this – if that really was the case – was his personal choice because his biography mentions that he was a man who liked to marry.

    Allâh knows best.

  3. Passer by on April 9, 2010 16:16

    But is he a role model? If he divorces four women at a time only to marry the next four women at a time, is he setting a good example? Because the only benefit of polygyny he mentions relates purely to lust.

  4. owaisalhashimi on April 9, 2010 17:56

    He was one of the noble Companions of the Prophet, and as such is not to be mentioned except with the utmost respect.
    The fulfilment of one's natural desires is one aspect of marriage in Islam. The observation about the wife being on menses and the effect it has on the husband is a very valid one, and this effect isn't only restricted to the physical relationship.
    There are a number of benefits to polygyny, but it is not necessary to always mention more than one. In fact, if a man were to want to take more wives for no other reason, he would not need to justify it or wait for another reason or benefit, The desire of a man to marry women is reason enough in Islam for plural marriage. The important thing of course is he should be able to uphold justice and fairness in his marriages.
    It should also be noted that the reasons for divorce are not mentioned in this narration.
    It should also be remembered that a man needs to consider the situation and conditions of his environment vis-a-vis the Muslims the plight of Muslim women in the societies they live in. In brief, he needs to be responsible and mature about the subject,
    There is nothing in this narration that suggests this Companion was anything but, and it should be seen in the best light.

  5. umm-muaadh on April 10, 2010 22:07

    well said owais

  6. Passer by on April 11, 2010 15:25

    The companions, may Allah be pleased with them, were not perfect or infallible. Theft & adultery for example were found in every muslim community at every age . Maybe this sahaba was wrong in divorcing dozens of women four at a time just to marry the next lot purely for lust. Or is divorce allowed for no good reason? Or maybe each & every one of the dozens of women he married just happened to warrant divorce? I'm not being disrespectful but what lesson will brothers learn from this?

  7. Passer by on April 11, 2010 15:36

    I am *not* against polygyny but I am against men divorcing women as often as they would change the shoes they're wearing.

  8. owaisalhashimi on April 13, 2010 15:20

    It is true of course that we don't believe the Companions as individuals were infallible. But there is no good reason to assume the worst and say maybe this Companions was wrong, and still to insist it was just for 'lust.' This is not respectful – whether you intend it or not. Why not say maybe he is allowed to do this or maybe he had good reason, why say maybe he is wrong? What lesson will brothers and sisters learn from speaking of a Companion in such a manner? This is not the way to correct any bad attitudes towards marriage that some brothers might suffer from.
    Correcting bad attitudes has its place and manner, but disparaging Companions is not part of it. Also, there is a prevalent bad attitude amongst many sisters towards accepting or dealing with polygyny, so in sha Allah there is a lesson in mentioning how there were amongst the Salaf men who liked to take many wives.
    In the end, narrations such as these – if confirmed – do not need to be taken in isolation. Whatever the case, the honour of a Companion is maintained, especially when there is absolutely no reason to suspect that he or she did anything wrong. To superimpose a bad attitude from another time onto the actions of the righteous is not a way to correct that bad attitude – perceived or real.
    Allah knows best.

  9. humeira on April 15, 2010 13:27

    Assalamoalikum
    Allah says in d Quran, marry only one twice n he has also pronounced u cant do justice among d wives. by adding …even if u so desire. so lets move on.
    Yes men can marry as many times as they wish,as Allah has allowed them to.
    my question is will d people who marry many times, will they accept d same thing for their daughters n sisters?
    Of course they would, i believe.
    bcz it is justice.
    Allahafiz

  10. BintAbeeAbdulQaadir on December 12, 2010 05:07

    Asalamu alykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuh

    JazakAllaah khair for the benefical quotes brother Owais!

    I don't totally understand why it was said about Mughirah bin shu'ba (RadhiAllaahu Anhu) -" He used to marry four women at a time and divorce four at a time."
    Is it possible if you explain to me why he used to divorce four at a time?.
    JazakAllaah khair again

  11. Owais Al-Hashimi on December 12, 2010 15:58

    Wa alaykumus-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,Barakallahu feeki.First, let me congratulate you on asking this question with the good manners and respect that each and every Companion deserves. Since I don't have knowledge about the explanation of this part of the narration, I will not delve into the issue especially when it involves commenting on a Companion of Allah's Messenger – Allah's praise and peace be upon him. I have read only that some scholars mention this as an example of this noble Companion's love of women and marriage, which is in of itself fine. The main point behind including this narration was the reasoning and encouragement to practice plural marriage in the first part of the narration. It is also to be noted that I haven't made any conclusive research about the authenticity of the narration in part or in whole (hence the term 'it is reported'). Scholars have mentioned this narration in their biographies of Al-Mughirah b. Shu'bah – may Allah be pleased with him, but I have not found any explanations of the reasons behind his taking new wives. But we can quite easily appreciate that there could be many legitimate reasons behind this and thus have no cause to criticize this action from this Companion. In fact it is upon us to see it in the best light if it is authentic and we have no other knowledge about it. It would only be regarded as a mistake if it was proven to have been done for the wrong reasons. Otherwise, marrying four women at a time and divorcing four is not in of itself a reprehensible deed. Allah knows best.Since there has been some repetition in the comments and replies, and there is no use in conjecture, further comments will be closed for this post.